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Bytes And Pieces Part 2

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Howard (Howie) Merrill is the Master of the Web Manor website, as well as the author of the wonderful newsletter The Funnies.  Comments, questions, and anything else about Howie's Corner should be sent to Howie.

Immediately after putting the finishing touches on "Bytes And Pieces", I thought of a bunch of other stuff that I wanted to rant and rave about. Hence, part 2...

• Learn XML, SGML, Java, C++, DreamWeaver, Cold Fusion and all the other stuff...
  

  
  If I wanted to learn more than HTML and the basics of JavaScript, it would be for the reason that I feel it would add some value to my site. The reason for learning more advanced stuff is so I can make my site more useful for those people that browse websites on hand held devices, PDAs, etc. If I were to code a page for hand-helds, PDAs, etc... I would make it a very simple page. It would look something like this:
  
  PUT DOWN THE TOY AND DRIVE!!!

  
  
• I picked up a PC magazine from the ever-growing pile of unread stuff, and noticed that the advertisement for the Dell desktop was priced at $1899. I have been paying attention to this particular advertisement and for the last few months, the price was $1399. I was really surprised to see such a jump in price and after reading the details of the PC being offered, it seemed like a lesser PC. Then I looked at the front cover. The magazine was from March 2000. Only goes to show, in two years, PC will be free!
  
  
• SPAM
  

  
  Is there a way for spammers to know that I have "SUCKER" written on my forehead? Apparently, there must be. I get 10-100 spam messages a day on average. The email address is something like: "A3ffsw543@nowhereville.com". As if I would bother to read anything from an email address like this (I did). They told me about a work at home offer ESPECIALLY DESIGNED FOR ME!!! Yes, I could work from home and watch the money roll in. Just call this special 800 number (which is forwarded to an island in the South Pacific and you listen to a recording for 940 hours at $790 a second).
  
  Then of course, there are the "CHECK OUT THIS LINK!!!" from "MY PAL DENNIS". I have no pal Dennis and even if I did, I don't think "MY PAL" would send me an email with no subject and one line telling me to check out a URL like xxxforyou.com...
  
  Then there are the offers to enroll me "FOR FREE" in some contest in which I am guaranteed to win "at least one million dollars!!!!!!". Uh-huh. Yes, I was born in Brooklyn and NO, I don't wanna buy the bridge.
  
  The ones that really crack me up are the ones that have a date like November 10,1947. Then sort to the top of your email and are designed to catch your eye.
  
  If I thought for one second that I could respond back with, say, 40,000 replies to their messages and they would actually get them, I'd write a program. Maybe even in Java. Now THAT'S a good use for learning to program!

  
  
• Investment advice on the web
  

  
  Yes, I am sure that there are reputable financial advisors with websites. I also know that there are many more people looking to take your money than honest businessmen. When I read about someone that lost $40,000 in a web scam, my first impression is to hang the culprits. Then I think about it and wonder... How stupid do you have to be to give $40,000 to someone you do not know to invest in a company you never heard of? If you want MY advice... Send me the money. I'll make sure you get your moneys worth!

  
  
• DOT.COMs and brick/mortar companies are not the only ones downsizing...
  

  
  The Year 2000:
  The May 2000 issue of FAST COMPANY was 414 pages.
  The December 2000 issue of WIRED was 418 pages.
  The June 2000 issue of RED HERRING was 628 pages!!!
  The September 2000 issue of BUSINESS 2000 was 304 pages.
  
  The Year 2001:
  The February 2001 issue of FAST COMPANY was 188 pages.
  The April 2001 issue of WIRED was 238 pages.
  The January 2001 issue of RED HERRING was 148 pages.
  And the April 2001 issue of BUSINESS 2.0 was 104 pages.
  
  Ya think advertising dollars are shrinking?!?!? Gee, maybe I can find useful content in the first 50 pages now!!!

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Last Revised: 04/16/2001

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