PuterGeek.Com News
Issue # 29

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Hello everybody,
I started out today...err...yesterday attempting to do a little
reorganizing on the website.  Well, as of now the whole structure has
changed.  So I'm sorry to say that virtually all
links/shortcuts/favorites that you may have to PuterGeek.Com are now
broken.  When I first started the website I dumped all the HTML
documents, graphics, and so on into one folder.  Well due to that short
sightedness it had become rather unmanageable.  So I have corrected this
problem with the unfortunate side affect of changing the location of
almost every page on my website.  I'm sorry for any hassle this my cause
you.  I promise that this won't be a regular occurrence!

Boy!  Talk about growing pains!  In my defense, this is the first (and
hopefully the last) time I've ever moved/changed a file location on the

I've had some interesting results from the website survey.  Two items
are very noticeable...most people have multiple 'puters....and almost
none of them have those 'puters on a network!  So I've add a page
discussing the benefits of a home network.  Please take a look at it...

If any of you find any bad links on the site please email me!  I've also
made a custom "404 page not found" page that is more friendly than the

Now on with the good stuff...

From the Funnies http://www.erols.com/hmmd

It was another boring Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room
watching television in the hopes that I would be entertained when the
phone rang.


A girl's voice came over the line.

"Can I speak to Ben, please?"

I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben.  It was probably a
wrong number.  Of course, it was also a dull evening.

"I'm sorry, he's not in right now.  Can I take a message?"

"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.

"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other
end...a confused silence.  I had a live one.

"Is this Steve?"

My name isn't Steve, either.  This was definitely a wrong number.

"Yes, it is.  Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"

"Well...he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..."
she said in a slightly irritated voice.  I must have sounded a lot more
like Steve than I had thought.  I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen
about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00."

A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"

"The girl he went out with." (I've seen _Fletch_ several times).

"I know that!  I mean....who is she?" (She must have seen _Fletch_,
too....Or is that _Fletch Too_?  Whatever..)

"I don't know her last name.  Look, do you want me to leave a message
for Ben?"

"Yes...please do.  Tell him to call me when he gets home."

She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper
flaring.  Now would be a good time to call an end to the charade.

"I sure will.  Is this Jennifer?"

She exploded this time.  "WHO'S JENNIFER?!"

Apparently she wasn't.

"Well...he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00.  I thought you were her.

Sorry...it was an honest mistake."

"Ben's the one that's made the mistake!  Tell him that ALICE called him
and the she's VERY UPSET and that I would LIKE HIM to CALL ME as SOON AS

I smiled and said, "Okay, I will...but Becky isn't going to like


Cooking Terms

TONGUE: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the
line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

YOGURT: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and
fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the
same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

RECIPE: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients
you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog
won't eat.

PORRIDGE: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children
were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an
amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

PREHEAT: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before
cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put
in, as well as when it is removed.

OVEN: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of
meat and poultry.

MICROWAVE OVEN: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of
radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the
cooking compartment.

CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the
average individual prior to taking a second helping of a
particular food.
From the Langalist www.langa.com

MS Office 2000 SR-1 Glitches

With any large-scale update, glitches are inevitable--- and the
Office 2000 "Service Release-1" update (at 26-40MB) is about as big
as they come. It fixes hundreds of bug---er, "issues" across the
entire suite. With that much going on, at the end of the day it's
probably a must-have upgrade, especially because it's free. (See
http://www.langa.com/newsletters/2000/2000-mar-23.htm#5 )

But some people are reporting problems getting the update to work. In
fact, I ran into a glitch where my first attempt to upgrade generated
a message stating "Internal Error 2371, Please contact product
support for assistance."

I didn't want to go down the all-too-often unhappy tech support
highway, so I simply deleted the downloaded files, rebooted, and
tried again. (Thank goodness for cable modems.) The second time
worked fine, although there was a bit of confusion caused by the fact
that I had bought FrontPage2000 as separate purchase from the rest of
Office. (Actually, I had FP2K long before I upgraded the rest of my
Office suite.) The SR-1 upgrade stumbled a bit in trying to handle
the separate product, but eventually all was well.

Reader "JW" ran into the same "error 2371" glitch and--- brave man---
did call tech support:

     I downloaded SR-1 yesterday. It took about 20 minutes with
     a 384K DSL connection. After downloading, I clicked
     install, and the installation seemed to proceed normally
     until partway through the first (CD1) file. Then it stopped
     and displayed an Internal Error 2371, "Please contact
     product support for assistance." I have what must be a
     rather typical setup - Win98SE & IE 5.0, and had closed NAV
     etc before trying to install.

     I called MS support, and was quickly guided through
     installation by a woman based in North Dakota. She had me
     copy setup.exe to an SR1 directory (I think - it may
     already have been there after my first attempt to install),
     then run setup in a DOS window with the switches
     /c /t:c:\sr1. The program installed without any problems,
     other than an hour toll call to MS.

Thanks, JW; you may have just saved some other readers an hour's
worth of phone tolls to Washington state!

Some other users report their Office apps simply don't run after the
upgrade--- the apps start and then immediately close. Their best
option is probably to uninstall Office, reinstall, and do the upgrade

In short, this is not yet a hassle-free upgrade. You may wish to
order the CD and wait the couple months it will take to arrive; the
version you get may be better debugged than the downloadable version
available now.

But if you're feeling adventurous, you can get additional information
on the components, on the downloads, or the CD here:

And this page has additional detailed instructions you might find
useful, too:

Want A Free Operating System? (No, not Linux!)

In the past, I've called BeOS a "Wow" operating system, and called it
a "dark horse contender in the OS wars." (See
http://www.langa.com/newsletters/1999/May-27-99.htm#BeOS )

Well, Be, Inc. has just released the a new, FREE version of the BeOS.
It's not nagware or crippleware--- it's the real deal, and is 100%
free for personal use. The company says:

     The Personal Edition of the operating system, renowned for
     its rich media handling capabilities and ideal for first-
     time or casual users, is now available at no charge, via
     the web at http://free.be.com . Additionally, BeOS 5 Pro
     Edition, a fully-featured version designed for audio and
     video applications, has also been made available to third-
     party publishers in North and South America, Asia, and soon
     to follow, Europe.

     With the new release, Be is offering a programmers
     development kit (BeIDE, or Be Integrated Development
     Environment) and a library of demonstration applications at
     no charge. These development tools aid software developers
     in bringing their products to market faster. Additionally,
     Be is opening access to its desktop, known as Tracker, and
     its taskbar, known as Deskbar, by publishing a software
     developers kit (SDK) along with the source code.

The most common free version of the OS requires 512MB of free hard
drive and 32MB of RAM; it installs alongside your copy of Windows 9x,
NT, or 2000. (There are versions that run alongside other OSes, too.)
There's also a "Pro" version with an extended feature set: It will
ship around April 15th, and you can get more information at

The main site for the free download is http://free.be.com, but you'll
be lucky to get through because of the enormous download volume.
However, Be has allowed third-party download sites to mirror the
official Be files, so check your favorite download page and search
for "Be" or "BeOS."

Some popular North American download spots that will offer the file
(if they don't already) are:

http://www.zdnet.com/ - Ziff-Davis, North America
http://download.cnet.com/ - CNET/Download.com, California
ftp://www.beforever.com/pub/beforever/freebe/ - BeForever, Omaha, NE
ftp://mirrors.rochester.rr.com/pub/be/ - RoadRunner.Com, Rochester,NY
ftp://ftp.be.com/pub/beos/ - Be, Inc. San Jose, CA
TUCOWS.COM (available worldwide after 00/03/29)

Of the above, I found the ZD site to be the most responsive so far.

The page at http://www.be.com/products/freebeos/ also lists other
mirror sites outside North America; lists supported hardware, and
offers lots of other useful information about the OS, besides.

Note that it's a large download--- 43 MB--- but on the other hand,
that's only a bit larger than some *patches* that Microsoft releases.

Nifty O2K SR-1 Update Trick #1

I normally wouldn't spend this much time on a patch or update--- but
Microsoft's Office 2000 Service Release #1 is no ordinary patch: It's
a huge update to the world's most widely-used office suite, and it's
causing many people trouble.

For example, reader "Dan" was really getting steamed at Microsoft's
auto-download of Service Pack 1 for Office 2000:

     Microsoft's SR-1 is free, but "you get what you pay for" in
     this case. The online download is beyond frustrating ...
     once your connection drops, you have to start the download
     from scratch. I've got a 33.6 modem and manage 26.4 on a
     good day ... I've tried the download eight times over the
     past 24 hours with no luck. Two hours into the download, I
     get cut off at Microsoft's end ...

So he went digging:

     I downloaded O2KSK1DL.EXE from
     the Office Resource Kit Toolbox (you'll find it
     under "Office 2000 SR-1 administrator updates"). It's a
     52MB download, BUT the downloads at ORK support resume on
     disconnect (you can use a download manager, like NetZip
     Download Demon, to pause the download or resume after a
     broken Internet connection) ... that's not an available
     feature at the OfficeUpdate site (if your connection is cut
     during the Office Update download, you have to start from
     the beginning.) It took five hours on my 33.6 telephone
     modem, but that was a breeze compared to the 18 hours I
     wasted trying to get a successful download at the
     OfficeUpdate site.

     O2KSR1DL.EXE includes both CD 1 and CD2, and the updates
     for FrontPage server extensions, Access Run Time, Office
     Server Extensions. [The other Administrator Update,
     Data1.exe, is a 141MB download and contains only the
     Administrative server update for CD1 ... you don't need
     this for a stand-alone installation.]

     Here's the steps I used:

     1. Download O2KSR1DL.EXE from the ORK site, above.
     2. Move O2KSR1DL.EXE to a temporary directory on your hard
     3. Copy O2KSR1DL.EXE to a Zip disk (with sufficient storage
     space available) for safe keeping.
     4. Delete all *.TMP files and temporary internet files from
     your system (clean up the trash.)
     5. Run Scandisk (thorough) and Defrag your hard drive.
     6. Restart and run System File Checker to make sure you
     have everything updated in the registry.
     7. Do a clean Restart, then shutdown all running apps and
     utilities (including Antivirus programs, task schedulers
     and Rnaapp.)
     8. Have Office 2000 original CDs ready.
     9. Double Click O2KSR1DL.EXE and name an empty folder for
     the file extraction.
     10. Switch to that folder, using Windows Explorer, and
     double click the Setup.exe file.
     11. Put in your original MSO2K CD1, then CD2, but wait
     until the setup program asks for them.
     12. Wait on the progress bar ... it will cycle through
     three times for CD1 and twice for CD2.
     13. Remove the CD and restart the PC when prompted.
     14. Review the logfiles in your temporary folder (mine was
     c: \WINDOWS\Temp\SR1Patch).
     15. Test each app and check in "Help=>About" to look for
     both "SR1" and for a version number.
     16. The installation took under 45 minutes on my system (a
     slow, 200MHz Pentium), but that depends on your CPU speed,
     installed apps and whether or not you've already upgraded
     to IE5.
     17. Delete O2KSR1DL.EXE and the contents of your temporary
     directory (you have your copy on a Zip disk, so you don't
     need the extra "fat" on your hard drive.)
     18. Run System File Checker to update the changes.
     19. Restart and Relax!

Whew! Thanks, Dan. The extra steps you took at the beginning of your
upgrade (steps 1-7) are very wise, and will improve the odds of a
successful upgrade with any software--- not just O2K. They're well
worth noting!

Nifty O2K SR-1 Update Trick #2

Aaron Hall writes:

     Fred: In light of the recent Office 2000 SR-1 update
     issues, I would recommend the following advice-- ALWAYS
     perform a "repair" option on Office before running the

     I also had a problem with my first few updates (i.e. Error
     2371) at work, so I started running the Detect & Repair
     option before installing the patch. Although it added an
     extra step, and I had to wait about 10 minutes for it to
     run, apparently, it and the service pack are fixing several
     problems with some user's installs... several of my users
     have commented about fewer crashes and other problems doing
     things that are fairly routine to them. Granted, it's only
     been a week since I did the updates, though.

     Another suggestion is that before making that expensive
     call to Washington, check the Microsoft Knowledgebase...
     http://search.support.microsoft.com/kb/c.asp . I performed
     a search for "2371"... here's what I found...
     This page lists all the errors in the 2000-2999 range.

     The 1000's are at

     In this case, it seems like this error is related
     (judging by errors in the same group) to the a corrupt or
     mis-downloaded update. Perhaps, the site has been so busy
     lately that it's been sending out bad patches.

Thanks, Aaron!

From Lockergnome www.lockergnome.com

The Darwin Awards
Unearthed by Ray Cov


{Tales of human stupidity} Raise your hand if you've ever been an idiot?
C'mon, now... let's be honest with one another. At least you haven't
removed yourself from the gene pool, unlike these "honored" individuals.
You don't wanna get this award. Whether you know it or not, someone has
already outdumbed you. These stories, most confirmed, will have you
wondering if we're truly evolving. Laugh at another's misfortune; it's
all you CAN do.

SPB-Linux v1.0.0 [1.4M] DOS FREE


"SPB-Linux consists of a bootable floppy disk with the Midnight
Commander as user interface (like Norton Commander) and allows to access
files under their long names; the default settings support IDE hard
disks with FAT or FAT32 partitions (Windows 95 and 98) and ATAPI
CD-drives. Linux EXT2 partitions may be mounted, and read-only access to
Windows NT4 NTFS partitions is possible."

Apple to Release OS for x86-based Systems -- "Apple is readying a new
operating system designed to run natively on x86-based machines.
However, the OS is still able to perform on Macintosh systems as well.
'Darwin' is said to be a "stripped-down" version of the MacOS X Server,
which was first introduced in January 1999. Apple's new Darwin OS may be
recognized as an alternative to Microsoft's Windows. Apple fans are
excited by the idea that Apple could use the Darwin design to develop
future versions of the MacOS that could run on cost sensitive
Intel-based machines, rather than expensive Macintosh hardware. Some
discussion groups on the Internet seem to be fueling the idea of making
the new Darwin OS an alternative to Microsoft's Windows operating
system. It is also rumored that Apple is discussing license ideas with

TweakUI 2000 Beta [78k] W9x/2k FREE


"If you are looking for an updated version of the famous TweakUI
powertoy, you've found it. This version boasts that the bugs which where
present in the earlier version, released on the Windows 98 First Edition
CD, have been fixed. TweakUI 2000 works with Windows 98, 98SE, and
NT/2000. It also has a friendlier appearance, ala TweakUI 1.1 (the
Windows 95 version)." This beta may time out.

From Microsoft www.microsoft.com

Troubleshooting Printing Problems in Windows 95/98 (Q128345)

Common Questions About the FAT32 File System (Q253774)

Troubleshooting Windows Update Connection and Download Problems

Internet Explorer on the following platforms: Windows 95, Windows 98 and
Windows NT(r) 4.0
Internet Explorer Does Not Check for Newer Versions of Web Pages

Error Message: Cannot Play Back the Video Stream... (Q156286)

Computer May Stop Responding When Scrolling Through Web Page (Q175148)

From Windows Insider www.winmag.com

One Wild Tweak UI 2000 Ride

Last Thursday I woke up bright and early to discover that the
link I'd given you in the newsletter for downloading TweakUI 2000
had been changed overnight. Many of you wrote to tell me that I
now had two eggs over easy on my face, and I couldn't blame you
at all. It was easy to find the URL, though, and I quickly posted
that on the Web version of Win Insider. And that's something for
you to know. I'm usually on top of something that changes like
this. I can't recall the newsletters already sent to your
mailbox, but I can, and quickly do, fix the Web version on the
Insider Web site. The very first URL in every issue of Win
Insider is the link to that Web version. So, don't forget to
check there when something like this happens. OK?

If you haven't downloaded the beta of Tweak UI 2000 (which times
out in August), and you want to, here are two ways to do that:

Direct download link:


From the Win Letter www.winmag.com


The overwhelming majority of you use Internet Explorer or Netscape
Navigator/Communicator to cruise the Web. But the cognoscenti have
long had a secret weapon: the browser Opera.

Opera's chief advantage is that it's always small and fast -- perfect
for slightly aged processors. Unfortunately, it had falled behind in
technology and features, and users started drifting off.

Now comes word that a new version of Opera -- 4.0 -- has entered beta.
It now supports e-mail, style sheets, HTML 4.0, JavaScript 1.3, and so
forth. The company says that the core technology is platform
independent, and that the software can easily be ported. Linux, anyone?

The new version, by the way, is a 1.5MB download. That's all.

Check it out; you may like it.


Well that's it for now...
P.S.  This just got done as I was getting ready to mail this out.
Thanks to my *guru* (who wants to be nameless) the 404 page now tries to
give you the updated link to the page you were looking for!  Try this
www.putergeek.com/pc/petercam/petercam.htm this page has moved...
www.putergeek.com/chat_intro.htm this page is gone...
I must say that without the great help of my guru the website would not
be as good as it is.

Peter Crockett - webmaster
website: http://www.putergeek.com
mailto: webmaster@putergeek.com
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Last Revised: 10/23/2000